The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I will declare my experiment with my puzzle post mildly successful. Although it seems to have drawn interest from all of my readers... (Who by the way as far as I can tell they all have the same last name as me), not one of you was able to get it without additional hints. I guess I need to go slightly easier on the next one, but since I had fun with it I'll continue and save the "prize" for the next puzzle. Actually I don't really have anything to give out as a "prize" yet, but I'll think of something. One idea I had was sending a special e-mail to the winner, but when I went to my local store they just looked at me with bewilderment when I asked them to gift wrap my e-mail. After the initial shock of the question wore off and the clerk realized I was serious, she tried to explain to me that e-mail is not tangible and she couldn't actually put gift-wrap on it. I sighed, but after thinking a bit harder decided to agree with her and promptly left the store. The next idea I had was to give the winner the rights to Claire's first bowel movement. Aside from the obvious health hazards, I realized that it would be hard to explain to my daughter that I had schlaked and mounted her first earthly deposit when she saw it at one of your homes.

But this is hardly the point of this post. I'm now realizing that waiting for this baby to arrive is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I am losing faith in the process and don't understand how Sarah is supposed to spontaneously go into labor. Will this actually happen on its own? And is there even a slight chance it will happen by her due date on Tuesday? With all the modern medicine we have these days, you'd think we'd understand the simply process of labor. Not having a cure for cancer or heart diesease is understandable, but the simple and repettitive task of a woman having a baby should be straightforward enough to decipher. There must be some trigger that causes contractions to start. Sure people speculate... Spicy food, walking, taking a bumpy car ride, etc., but none of these have ever been clinicial proven to onset labor. I'm thinking a study should be done using the following setup. Get a group of 100 women who are all close to their deliver dates. Ask them all to do the one thing that they think will most likely cause labor to occur. Ask them to continue doing it until their baby is born. When the first baby arrives, ask the new mother what her action of choice was. Write that down in a book and sell millions of copies. Some women will write back after reading the book swearing by your method, others will curse you for your ridiculous scientific method, but at least you'd be a world famous author.

Must sleep now